Monday, September 26, 2005

There are two Japans. One is the bustling megametropolis to the north, which we here like to call "Tokyo". I live in the other Japan.

So this weekend I went to visit Dockett off in the Other Japan. I had no idea how different they'd be. In my new hometown, we have a train station- Tehara. There are two sets of tracks. One runs east, one runs west. That's about as complicated as it gets out here- other, larger cities, like Kyoto, still are arranged in businesslike, aesthetically pleasing dichotomies. There is east, west, north, and south, and all the gates you need to reach can be found simply by following the appropriate signs. Take that as a metaphor, if you will.

I took the Shinkansen (High-Speed Train, and they ain't kiddin') Nozomi (SUPEREXPRESS) from Kyoto to Tokyo. It took perhaps two hours, and we stopped twice in the middle. The Japanese countryside- when it wasn't a blur- was AMAZING. We passed through mountains, lakes, rivers, vast rice fields, little cities, and a huge mountain that looked like Godzilla took a bite out of the middle. It was awesome. The entire ride, I was pressed back into my chair like a kid on a rollercoaster- this train is one heck of a thing.

The moment I arrived in Tokyo, I got lost. I'm not kidding- I had to change trains at Tokyo station, and couldn't for the life of me find the platform. I found the sign to the platform. I found the platform the sign pointed to. But none of the trains were marked with my destination. So rather than getting ridiculously lost in a giant twisty city, I put on my "Dumb Foreigner" face and asked directions.

Turns out the platform I wanted was through this platform and up another level- the sign with the arrow meant keep on going. The heck? Who knows.

Now, I figured that Tokyo station was going to be crazy like that. That's okay. I also thought that once I got out of Tokyo station and to the satellite station where Dockett was to meet me, I'd find him easily. I mean, he's huge. I'm huge. We're too big for this country. We're easy to pick out of an American crowd- a Japanese crowd should be no problem. I hadn't counted on the fact that this "small, satellite station" was in fact three stories tall and had five exits. I had sent an email to Dockett earlier, telling him where to meet me, and though I had neither cell phone nor his phone number I figured it wouldn't be a problem.

I was a fool. So I wandered around the station for perhaps forty minutes, had an interesting conversation with an English-capable local who thought I looked lost, and finally found him/was found by him in the main gate (phew!)- and so with that preface complete, our adventure got underway. The first night was fairly laid-back- we strolled around Shinjuku a bit, wandered around some ridiculously huge buildings, and partook of the local cuisine at Chez McDonald.

The next day was immensely productive, to say the least. It rained- curse that typhoon, but that didn't stop us from seeing the famous shopping district of Ginza. There's this famous window that we wandered past, and then back to, that houses THE MOST EXPENSIVE DEPARTMENT STORE that I have ever seen, let alone entered and perused. We were very nearly laughed out of the men's department. Whether that's due to the fact that we wouldn't fit in a single article of clothing they sold or thanks to our t-shirt and jeans collegiate travel gear, I am still unsure. Either way, a two hundred-thousand dollar pocketwatch is a bit beyond my means, so we wandered on. Found the Sony Building, with it's display of one of everything they sell. That was awesome. Loitered awhile in the Playstation room- but can ya blame us?

On the main drag in Ginza, sandwiched between a Luis Vatton store and a godawfully expensive store selling something else with a French name, there's this little shop where a quiet guy has a wall of Go boards for sale. Now, when I say Go board, I mean the kind that cost upwards of a few grand and weigh a ton and a half- the "board" is in fact a table, about two feet by two feet by two feet, with ornate little pudgy feet that won't tear up your tatami mats. There's a line of pictures across from the wall of Go boards showing how these things were made- by hand, with a chisel. The man in the picture is the same man that's standing in the back of the shop politely wondering who the heck these two giants are and whether or not they're going to buy something already.

And after Ginza was exhausted, one downpour and a fruitless search for lunch later, we found a Denny's. It turns out that Denny's in Japan is owned by iHoldings, the same company that owns all the Japanese 7-11's. I am unsure as to the status of that corporate link in the States- perhaps one of you with a net connection that doesn't load at three pages an hour could help me out with that- but I do know that these iHoldings guys are MASTERS at getting inside the Japanese mind. They have changed the Denny's as much or more than they've changed the 7-11. The 7-11, bereft of Slurpees, serves full lunches. The Denny's is bereft of Western lunches- hamburgers are served sans bun, there are no Dagwoods to be seen, and ordering Moons over My Hammy could get you slapped. Instead, they serve a variety of Japanese staple dishes, as well as salads, ramen, and- oddly- French Toast.

And the verdict? Japanese French Toast tastes about like American French Toast- you just get a whole lot less of it for five bucks.

So we bail after Denny's and head for Tokyo Tower, finding a cool little shrine on the way. Just to cover all the religious bases, we also stumble across a church- St. Peter's Episcopal, or something to that effect- that's held services in English ever since it was founded back in the way long ago. There's an American organist practicing inside while we poke around- true to form, it's just like an American church- but smaller.

Tokyo Tower's a kick- it's slipping quickly into obscurity, and gives about the same vibe of faded glory that the arch in St. Louis does- this was impressive in its time, but its time is quickly fading. It was pretty cool, in that nostalgic way, though. The windows in the observation tower are fun to lean against Ferris Bueller-style, and the lookdown windows (read- reinforced pieces of glass in the floor) are AWESOME. I'm a bit sad that the second, higher observation tower was closed, and the day was a bit cloudy, but that's what you get for visiting Tokyo Tower in a typhoon. I'm just glad I got to see it before they tear it down to upgrade to digital- which happens pretty soon, as I understand it. The base of the tower features such fine attractions as a Wax Museum and a Guiness Book Of World Records Museum, as well as census data from Japan- got a great pic of Dockett towering over the "average height" chart. He might post it, he might not- bug him for it.

From Tokyo Tower, we spotted a HUGE Buddhist temple- making our religious tour a triumvirate- and decide to make for it. In the spirit of adventurers everywhere, we utter the now-infamous "Let's take this shortcut through the park"- and end up finding a waterfall. But this isn't any old bridge-over-the-river-overlooking-the-falls deal. The path is large stepping-stones, leading down a set of REALLY DANGEROUS WHEN IT'S WET AND TYPHOONING stairs and across/through the river, from which you can see the waterfall. It's small, but very cool, as you're nearly standing in the river to get a look at it. The path continues beyond the stepping stones, and we make for the temple.

Again, thinking we're slick guys, we take what appears to be a shortcut up a long driveway and through a gate, and find ourselves VERY ABRUPTLY in a cemetery. It's the day after the Autumnal Equinox, which marks the beginning of Cemetery Season here in Japan, so the smell of incense still hung heavy in the air. A flock of ravens OWNS this cemetery- they're absolutely huge, and completely unafraid of human beings. Japanese cemeteries are packed very close together- there's no open ground, just headstone next to headstone, and an entire family can be entombed under a single monument. The path cuts businesslike down the center. Each altar/tombstone has a cup for burning incense, and that day most of them were still ashy. We only passed one person coming out, so the moment she cleared the gate we were alone with the ravens.

We didn't stay long. We ducked out the back and down another set of pretty dangerous stairs (what the heck is with this?!), finding ourselves in the back of the temple grounds. There are three Buddha statues in a rear courtyard, and a locked-up temple gate behind them, as well as an uncountable row of smaller statues three or four deep, each wearing fresh, clean red hats. With the ravens still kind of following us, and the ubiquitous shrine cats (which seem quite interested in the possibility of Raven as a main course for dinner) all around, it's actually pretty cool/creepy. Having had enough taking our lives into our own hands, we made for the main temple grounds- up a set of safe-looking stairs and around the corner into a large, clean temple. The main hall is one huge room about three stories high, with a raised "Monk Only" area and a sitting area- uncharacteristically, this temple's got three rows of chairs. There's a box for offerings, a pot of incense (oh, more of that smell) and a "don't screw around vibe"- reinforced by the entrance of one smart raven through the temple door and up into the rafters. There was only one door open. It was kinda scary. So we poked around the temple grounds a bit and left for more modern lands.

It was getting late, but we took a ride out to Akihabara (Electric Town) and shopped around. The trip was 100% success- I bought a Japanese keyboard, got Dockett a PSP controller (yay! Katamari Damacy 2 for the WIN) and we had some of the worst Ramen in the world. I consulted tonight with my Ramen Guy (he rules) and it turns out that Miso Ramen and Miso Tonkatsu Ramen are two completely different beasts- the first is delish, and the second.... ech. Also- geeks of the world, I have found your Mecca. This place is, without a doubt, flashy-light and nerd-toy central. The geek world revolves around THIS AXIS- it's a small city (read: larger than Ritto's entire downtown area) filled to the brim with nothing but computer, game, and anime stores. There are shops that sell but one variety of computer PART, and still manage to operate. There are back-alley deals on broken-down cardboard boxes where the dealers swap RAM sticks for monitors and bask in the silicon glow. There is a shop- yes, indeed- where they sell English language game supplies, and a cybercafe dedicated entirely to FFXI that sells crazy fantasy clothing you can wear while you sit and play the game. Escapism is peddled like a street drug.

They just need a better Ramen shop.

Post-Akihabara, we head back to the apartment (heh- closet-sized. My kitchen's bigger- but that closet's got a heck of a better internet connection than my kitchen) and drop off the swag from the day. We go out for some dinner (yakitori, I love thee) and back to the apartment for video games (some things never change, no matter the continent) before calling it a night.

The next day was an exercise in packing as much as we could into a limited time before bailing. We decided to try to go to Harajuku and buy some cheap/fashionable clothing (forgetting our mantra: We're too big for this country) and discover that it's one heck of a district to people-watch in. The fashions come in three flavors there: The Athletic, in which sports gear is worn to the exclusion of all else; the Proto-American, in which an American style trend is copied and modified (props, Jozi, you've got this one DOWN) until it is vaguely Eastern and all kinds of awesome; and The Dead, in which Goth fashion is taken WAY beyond its logical end and well into the territory of undead shambling hordes. These three trends congregate in a series of windy, thin streets in the Harajuku district, where every shop is brimming with something cool that you want to buy but you won't fit into (you're TOO BIG), and they pack the place. Most the time, we didn't have room to walk politely. We took a cue from Az (at Outpost Nine) and Gaijin Smashed our way through. The Dead, by the by, congregate on the bridge that connects Harajuku to the Meiji shrine. Why? Who knows. After a well-spent morning bumbling through the most fashionable shopping district in town, we cross said Bridge of the Damned into the Meiji Shrine- a HUGE park and shrine complex dedicated to the long-dead emperor Meiji, responsible for the Meiji restoration. If you haven't heard of him, go rent The Last Samurai and get a quickie pseudohistory lesson.

The park is AMAZING. The moment you pass through the GIANT cypress gate you can forget entirely that the bustling fashion district is right next door. The walkway is a broad, manicured gravel path, and it's got more than it's share of Gaijin (it's a tourist spot, yeah)- without whom it would seem positively empty. The path winds through the park, past the gardens and the lake and up to the shrine, where we were lucky enough to catch a Shinto wedding procession across the main square of the shrine and out the side door. Wow. They paused for wedding pictures, and we booked it for the main shrine, doing our best to ignore the steel gaze of the shrine guard holding the whacky "DON'T DO IT" stick. The main temple is all closed off- you just get to look at the inner courtyard. So we wander another half mile up to the Treasure Museum, to look at the artifacts owned by the Emperor Meiji. His sword is advertised, but makes no appearance- perhaps it was in the Cultural Annex another two miles down the road. Perhaps no. What does make an appearance is his writing-desk (making this post an Alice in Wonderland Special- both Ravens and Writing-Desks!), and about eight thousand relics that have something to do with the Emperor's Hair- his Shampoo Bottle, his Washtub, his Looking Glass (the Alice in Wonderland Trifecta!) as well as his Chinese Ornamental Lion and the Empresses' Wardrobe (CS Lewis, eat your heart out). What do we glean from these cultural treasures? Well, judging from the size of the writing desk, the Emperor was SHORT. Really, really short.

So perhaps it was lost on us. Perhaps not. We take a breather in Shinjuku and have a coffee, and try for awhile to figure out something to do, finding in the process a 13th-floor open rooftop walkway (awesome in Typhoon-force winds) and a rooftop golf course on an adjacent building (which CAN'T be awesome in Typhoon-force winds). We decide to return to Harajuku and search for the must-have fashion accessory in Japan- the climbing-bag style clip-on cargo pocket. It's got holsters for everything you need, and is kind of like a fashionable construction belt, with all the pockets and loops and whatnot. It fulfills that place in your heart that wants to be both hip and a little more like Batman.

So in short, we go, we find, and we conquer. There's a crepe shop in Harajuku that everyone and their brother seems to want to eat at, so we stand in line for a very special JAPANESE SNACKYFOOD REVIEW: Crepes From the Crepe Guys in Harajuku. These things are the BEST CREPES IN THE WORLD, stuffed with ice cream and cheesecake and chocolate and what have you. Whatever you want, you can have it in a crepe, and the crepes are warm and delicious. They absolutely must be exported back to the States. Must.

Grade: A+.

After crepes, we go to a little shrine that we had passed up earlier, and catch yet another wedding in progress- this one's got some really cool gas-operated torches- before deciding that it's time to tack back to Tokyo station and part ways.

After a quick bout of confusion in the labyrinthine Tokyo station, we part ways and I head back onto the Shinkansen for the ride home. Wow, this thing is fast. There aren't any seats on the first leg of the journey, so I sit in the connector between the first two cars with a girl from Osaka and a few guys from Kyoto. We chat about the usual- who are you, where are you from, what do you do, etcetera- until the first stop, where we split up to find seats as people get off the train. What's cool about this is that we actually coordinated our efforts- smokers went for the smoking car, and nonsmokers to the two nonsmoking cars- so that we wouldn't be competing for seats. Yay for teamwork.

So now I'm safely back in Ritto, and today I got my Gaijin ID. That means I also got my bank account and my CELL PHONE/CAMERA, an essential deal here in Japan. Everyone's got one. Absolutely EVERYONE. Tomorrow I'm going to buy a MiniSD card for it, so I can load pictures onto the laptop. This blog goes photo ASAP. Here's the baby I bought- it's awesome, and pretty, and blue.

Ugh, that was a long one. Sorry, guys- lots to say. In fact, I already missed something- today, in class, one of my rockstar students threw me the horns with NO PROMPTING. She just DID IT, OUT OF NOWHERE. It was appropriate, and natural, and perfect. So I did the only thing any self-respecting human being can do in these circumstances.

I threw 'em back.
I love being a teacher.

Rock Out,

Andy

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

No Moons over my Hammy? Had I indeed been there at that very moment and asked for my standard Denny's staple and then slapped, I would have, without second thought, turned that place into Kosovoan ethnic cleansing nightmare in order to preserve all that I feel is good and sacred in this world...which is consequentally, Moons over my Hammy.

Dockett said...

"[The climbing pocket bag] fulfills that place in your heart that wants to be both hip and a little more like Batman."

I could not have put it better myself.