Jump to Ludicrous Speed!

Today, my ADSL modem came. I have reentered the age of easy Internet access. Oh, thank heaven.

Today was also my first day teaching elementary schoolers. I've been laboring over this for WEEKS now- getting everything ready, trying to prepare myself. I thought I had enough material to last me at least forty minutes, and if I had five minutes left I'd throw in a round of Duck, Duck, Goose.

I had not counted on the fact that Japanese kids are A) geniuses and B) afflicted with nigh-terminal ADD. They crawl all over you- they want to see how big your feet are, how hairy your arms are, one of them pulled up my pantleg when I was turned around and rubbed my leg hair, another clamped onto the other leg like a bear trap and refused to release until I palmed the top of his head- and then he wouldn't let go of my arm. They're like little hyperintelligent barnacles- they seize onto an idea (or a Gaijin!) and just won't let go until it's fully explored. I had four other teachers with me, an army of backup, and we were still overwhelmed.

It was awesome. These little guys picked up everything I had to teach in fifteen minutes, and could spit it back to me with smiles on their faces. So I filled the rest of the time with a big grin and a grab-bag of games. I pulled out a mix CD I had prepped the night before and showed them some contemporary American music- and completely without self-consciousness they all started dancing. Dancing. So what can you do, when thirty two-foot-tall kids start breaking loose right there in the classroom?

You dance too. You teach them Big American Dancing Power. Do anything- no matter how silly- and they'll mimic it. It's unstoppable.

Afterwards, everyone agreed that it went well, and we sat down and plotted out the lesson plan for next Friday (I'm teaching another four classes of Elementary students- first graders through sixth graders). Why we couldn't have all huddled up and plotted out a lesson plan before is entirely beyond me- the process of working through this thing together has given me piles upon piles of things to do to keep these kids entertained and learning. It's breakneck pace compared to middle school, where the concept of "cool" has set in and they won't try anything beyond conversation. The little ones in Elementary don't know "cool" yet. They're great. It's absolutely insane, but they're great.

So, in the "anecdote" division, as part of my "Introduce your Country" segment (which they polished off in three minutes) I showed them a picture of the Statue of Liberty, along with a big construction-paper American flag (it took HOURS to cut out all fifty stars. I kid not) and a few pictures from home.

The flag, they liked. The pictures, they liked. When I whipped out the picture of the Statue of Liberty, every kid in class screamed "SUGOI!" (AWESOME!) and threw the peace sign.

Yeah, that's right. The only Statue of Liberty they know is the one on the love hotel. Later, the teachers asked if I knew what kind of a hotel that hotel was- and I looked them straight in the eye and said "The kind where you rent rooms by the hour. Do the kids know?" They replied, just as straightfaced, "Probably not yet. But you'll want to go into more detail about the difference for fifth graders and sixth graders- they might know."

Then, in a remarkable departure from form, everyone at the table bust out laughing. It was great.

pax.